Friday, December 18, 2009

An Early Response

Everyone, start preparing your anti Israel responses and press statements now, save time and be efficient. Write your articles and prepare the UN reports now, get a jump on everyone. One of the newest countries in the Middle East, Gazastan, and its leaders stated they will continue their fight against Israel until they establish “Palestine” on all of the land. This week Israeli media reported an update regarding the rearming of Hamas in Gazastan. They now have missiles that supposedly reach up to 80 kilometers, adding Dizengoff Center and other nice places to the inventory of targets. We all know it is coming the question is when?

The IDF has been arresting Hamas activists in Yehuda and Shomron at an increased rate as Dayton’s boys are having some difficulty. Now that they see Hamas gaining power, they don’t want to shoot themselves in the foot, or deficate in their own bed. Abbas is feeling the hot breath of Iza Din Kassam on his neck. The arms flow continues in Yehuda and Shomron, as they draw their own lines of engagement prior to a changing of the guard. Our media has been publicizing prior offers to the Arabs by previous Israeli leaders regarding “Land for Peace”, and now that Israelis are understanding better that the Arabs of Yehuda, Shomron and Gaza are not interested in peace, the consensus is changing. Exercises are being held in order to prepare for these scenarios. Soon, our politicians might even reflect this change, who knows?

So now that we know the next round is on the way, and will be more brutal, it is best to prepare your anti Israel statements now. You better make them good, because you are going to find a different audience in Israel than the last time. More and more Israelis are waking to the fact that there is no partner for peace in this region.

Boring, yawn, change the channel please, we have heard it all before. The reign of violence will continue in Israel, between Arabs and Jews for a long time to come. I read an add for a Palestinian Peace Group, that will be long lived, why do you think Arabs try to escape the Middle East, they must know something we don’t.

I have a theory that will set everything back on track. No it does not include a building freeze or throwing Jews out of our land, I know, I’ve just lost half of you. It doesn’t include throwing the Arabs out of our land, oops, there goes the other half of you.

The world around uses Israel as its playground for everything, and I mean everything.

“Bleeding Heart Liberals” looking for a cause to alleviate some trauma they suffered in their youth, have it all here. They can pick from a plethora of mushrooms growing in manure. Imagine, you can be a world-renowned author and go down to Gaza and support women’s rights and protest Israel’s “Human rights” violations in one of the most oppressive societies known today. Even if you can’t find friends to come with you on your holy mission to save the poor “Palestinians”, for a few bucks, which you can easily raise at home in the US, or just ask the EU, you will find plenty of extras, both Israeli and Arab to play out your fantasy. They will drive tractors, plant trees, and film and confront the “Evil Jews” as you “kvell” to high heaven.

Parents give you too much or not enough religion as kids? Come to Israel where you can hate your own people or self. You can go against everything that was pushed down your throat during your younger years. There is even a newspaper in English that will publish any and all the hatred you can spew, in the name of Intellectuality, and Equal Rights. You will always be welcome in some of the best clubs in Tel Aviv. Where else can you find entire Political parties dedicated to taking the Jew out of Judaism while they ignore their own heritage and embrace those that hate them more than themselves, only in Israel!

Is the little terrorist in you asking for a little “action”? Well you are in luck again, with your foreign passport, you can come in and “get involved”. Imagine, living the life you have only seen in the movies, collect intelligence, transport weapons and terrorists while posing as a peace activist, and you thought ambulances could only be used for sick people. Get training, network and meet new friends before you go off to fight the infidel, either in Iraq, Afghanistan or back home. Where else to can you get these offers under one roof?

Do you want a front row seat for the “End of the World”? This is the place, put on your robes, turbans and grab your Shofar ‘cause your destiny awaits, it is time to reveal yourself to the world. Remember, if you don’t fit in at home, you will always fit in here, somewhere.

So that is the idea, from now on, we charge everyone from the outside who wants to interfere with our lives here. You go to an amusement park, you pay admission, why not here? It will not be cheap, this I can promise.

You get on a ride, you pay, just like at the Amusement Park. If you want the extended stay, you have to help the maintenance people here fix what gets broken.

Governments that wish to be involved will have to support improved sewage projects and systems to enable us to remove all of the “waste” they create and leave.

The best part about this park is you get to leave whenever you want to and don’t worry - our crew will clean up after you.


  1. I wouldn't want your readers to think they they are immune in the West when the 'fireworks' start there. If Fort Hood was a surprise ...

  2. Marc, your quip about Dayton's boys is priceless. Do you think the Americans overseeing the effort are examining such metrics? Do you talk to them? Do they ask you what you think or coordinate with settlers directly, or do they go through the army?

    If you get a chance, please talk a bit about the economy of the communities. I know there is farming (what percent are farmers?) and I can see some high tech stuff with internet access - web design, programming, etc. Do most people commute to work elsewhere? What is there in the way of (light?) industry or manufacturing?

    Let's say I wanted to open a small chemical plant to produce fertilizer for the region, or a distillery to manufacture alcohol. Is there space for such things? Would I find a sufficient labor pool among the Jews or would I need to employ Arabs? What kind of environment is it for business? Are armed patrols necessary for trucking in raw materials?

    You should know by now that I have no clue how the settlements function on a day to day basis, so every detail you give is like a piece of the puzzle. Maybe I can visit you in the summer and see for myself.